Toddlers can easily become little tyrants and it is important to establish control from the onset. You must set up a set of rules that will govern your child as your toddler needs to learn the rules for living in a group and exploring safely. As a parent, you sometimes need to discipline your toddler and show them which behaviour is the most appropriate. At this age, your toddler is learning to be independent and prefers to show you. Most toddlers do things innocently and may not know that it is wrong. To help with this, always control your child’s environment by:
- Organize the physical space. Take away dangerous objects, close the doors to places where they should not go, use barriers, etc.
- Distract your toddler’s attention from prohibited things. For example, offer them a safe toy or change activities if they are heading towards something inappropriate.
- Be consistent: the rules should always be the same, no matter which parent or caregiver is looking after the child. If possible, be in agreement beforehand.
- Have a routine. Transitions will be easier if the child knows what to expect.
- Encourage good behaviour by giving positive praise instead of always shouting, “No!”
- Let your toddler handle materials that are safe to handle (plastic dishes, lids, saucepans, washcloths, etc.).
- Allow your toddler to do things for themselves as much as possible. Sometimes tantrums are caused by the need of your baby asserting their independence – it is ok if their clothes don’t quite match.
Dealing with tantrums
Tantrums happen when toddlers get upset, angry, frustrated and stressed as they often want to assert themselves. They may also throw a tantrum when they are jealous, scared, unwanted, insecure or unloved.
Here are tips with dealing with a tantrum
- Stay calm and let your child know that you are in control, that you can keep them safe and you will not punish or leave them. It is important for them to learn to manage their own feelings.
- Don’t try to reason with your child at this time, they won’t be able to “hear” you.
- Stay with your child during the tantrum. Hold them if you can, if not, stay nearby where they can come to you when the worst of the storm is over.
- Talk to your child gently but firmly about how they feel and what is happening to them. However, make it clear that kicking and punching will not be tolerated.
- Do not give in to whatever triggered the tantrum in the first place. Your child will learn to trust that you mean what you say.
- When the tantrum is over, suggest something else that you can both do, showing that you don’t keep a grudge.
When you manage the tantrum, you teach your child that angry feelings don’t have to take over, and they can be managed and expressed in helpful ways. You are also teaching that however bad things are, you will not let them down.
Do not threaten as this makes your toddler more frustrated.
