Finally, the baby is here! The combination of the new baby, the stresses of pregnancy, labour and birth and the overwhelming sense of responsibility that your man will feel can start to take their toll. New studies are now showing that men may suffer from Paternal Postnatal Depression (PPND) which is the male version of postpartum depression. It is therefore important for you as the woman in his life to remember him even in those busy days after the baby. Here are a few tips on how to keep the romance alive amidst the dirty diapers and sleepless nights.
- Trust him with the baby. Many of us women feel that your partner may not know what to do with the baby, and articulating this may make your man feel inadequate and insufficient. It is better to lovingly explain how to care for the child e.g. changing a diaper and then walk away without criticizing even when it’s done differently from what you think. After all, he is the father of your baby and will play the role of protector.
- Kiss him and hug him often. Offer affectionate looks and compliments when you can.
- Since most men might need to go to work whilst you are on maternity leave, allow him to get some sleep at night so that he can continue to be productive at work. He can take over from you over the weekends.
- Set up a ‘date-night’ and strictly follow it. Look for a baby sitter and go out for dinner, take a walk together, resume activities that you enjoy together. Most men feel neglected so it is important to reconnect with one another.
- After 6 weeks when the doctor has given you a go-ahead, you can resume your sexual relationship even though sex may be the last thing on your mind at this time. Remember that sex is important to your man and you should not wait for too long if possible. Plan for sex. Prepare yourself, buy a sexy outfit, try and empty your breast before or you may be squirting milk all over him … but enjoy and laugh at the awkwardness of this experience.
- Give him time off with his ‘boys’. Let him spend time with his friends without making him feel guilty by calling and checking up on him after every hour.
- Respect his opinion when it comes to the care of the baby. Sometimes as women, we may feel so vested in the baby that we forget that he has a say in the rearing of the baby. You may not agree to everything he says but respect, listen and compromise where possible.
- And finally, take care of yourself, shower and dress well. Do your hair instead of letting yourself go. Men notice when you make an effort to be attractive to him.
